They enter elated, celebrating
Felicitating with one another
But not long, countenance
Commences that metamorphosis
Springing from distraction
Via disappointment, dissatisfaction
Confusion, down to frustration
And worse, as once cheery faces
Turn masks, disfigured by displeasure
Clouded by ingratitude – the bug
That sours the joy of humanity
And by reckless comparison
Robs the peace of contentment.
I overheard a waiter telling the other, “I’m graduating in a few months, then Imma go get me a better job and quit this . . . .” And this is a five star restaurant. I have heard those in smaller restaurants, from workers aspiring to work in bigger establishments in order to earn more and feel better about what they do but our friend here was done waiting tables and couldn’t hold back the joy of sharing it with a colleague. Play it around and the same story is repeated in varying dimensions at different locations: humanity wanting more than they have at the moment because they feel they deserve more.
There is nothing wrong with striving for a better life. Only the dead settle in the grave without complaints. Every one alive desires more than they have and aspires for what they think they deserve and more. That is why we get educated, acquire skills, take professional exams and all that. We pursue improvement, we seek the better life, to live our dream. And so long as we pursue those in the right ways, there is nothing wrong with dreaming bigger and better.
The irony there is that what suffices today often turns out not enough tomorrow. There are people who have genuine reasons to aspire for more. What they have can’t meet the basic needs of the moment and they truly need all the help they can get. However, in a lot of cases, the lack of satisfaction we experience is often not because what we have fails to meet our needs – it is just not enough to feed our wants. “I want to earn more than he does or at the least, as much.” “I want her kind of car too.” “I want that house.” “I want my family to enjoy exotic vacations like them.” “I want better . . . .”
If you look deeply, the dissatisfaction we often experience is not because basic needs are not being met. It is not for want of anything critical at that time for which there is no help. Our discontentment is often birthed not because what we have has depreciated; instead it is our desire that has appreciated. It springs from comparing ourselves with those around and falling short in our own eyes. It is fed by the undermining ways those above us treat us. It is reinforced by the vibes we get in the environment that makes us fell less than we think we truly deserve. Add all that together and we want more not because we need more that bad but because we want to catch up, meet up, and possibly surpass those persons and circumstances that think they are better off. It happens to the rich and the poor, the young and the old, the educated and the illiterate – this constant striving and wanting for more.
Look beyond all the appearances and strivings, the truth remains that contentment is not a destination you reach at some point. There is no location that bears that name, no condition that carries that label. It is a state of mind we must embrace if we are to truly enjoy what we have and not allow the strivings and pressures around rob us of that joy. It is not living in ignorance but fully knowing who you are, where you are, what you have, and the ones you don’t and yet, being grateful for each. Not grateful today and grumbling tomorrow. Contentment is nurturing that gratitude through every day, through every situation, with everyone irrespective of how they treat you.
Being content is a choice we must make on our own in spite of all that lies ahead. Nobody can choose that for us and no condition can confirm that for us. I recall a friend’s colleague who lost her job because she was too dissatisfied about where she was: going from frying pan right into the fire. The times are so discouraging that it is very easy to find faults and lose sight of the good that once attracted us to where we are today. We must not allow the strivings for what we seek to rob us of the pleasure of what we have. Contentment goes hand in hand with enjoying who we are, where we are, the best we can. Contentment is the attitude to nurture, a lifestyle worth aspiring and contending for, and holding tight to despite assailing and competing forces. That doesn’t imply the pressures will go away and the strivings will cease. It means that you and I will quit comparing ourselves with others and reinvest that energy into embracing our lives, our ways, our times, unique as they are, and thoroughly enjoying each.
Glory!