I was a child, forever ago it seems
But once upon a time, I was a child
Who believed my Abba without a doubt

Then life began to play its quirky games
Disappointments kicked me off the cliff of faith
Fear and sorrows knocked me out of shape
As I grew up and I grew old, no longer a child

Love and faith and hope remained, but not the same
I had fashioned an adult version that fitted my form
A grown-up template that kept me safe and far from
The fervency of the child that once was but now is lost

Until the day I strayed into His Presence, as usual
And surging love erupted, enraptured my calloused soul
Drowning the adult I was, I emerged born again
A child without fear- a child of God in truth and indeed.

I gave my life to Christ more than twenty years ago, when it wasn’t fashionable to be born again and paid a dear price for it. Despite the persecutions that preceded that decision, knowing that beyond the religious precepts I was born into, I am a child of God in truth and indeed, helped me wade through ensuing challenges. I counted the losses of those years as nothing. I wouldn’t give up that assurance for anything else in the world, or so I thought.

Over the years, time played its game in one part of my life. Conscientiously and unconsciously, experience displaced the Word. Life lessons appeared as the ultimate wisdom to protect vulnerable heart from disappointing times. That part of my tender heart grew weary as it grew up and grew old. Without realizing it, I lost flexibility there. I could believe God for any and everything but that one thing. Fear built a formidable stronghold around my mind such that while I enjoyed grace and growth in every other area, that part remained untouched and any attempt toward change triggered outrageous anxiety.

Lately, God has been ordering my steps and stringing events in strange and silent ways that didn’t escape my notice. And with unusual excitement, I have been following, learning, surrendering and unconsciously transforming once again, into that child that I was once that was lost on the lane of living. I didn’t get lost living the world, I got lost living the Word and I suppose that made it even harder for me to yield that woundedness. Nothing would make me acquiesce it no matter how many times I sang, “I surrender all.” I unconsciously fought God, I fought myself and I fought everything that tended that way.

But for every child whose father lives, every problem has an expiry date. My rebirth date came when a simple step of faith revealed God pleading with me. Why would God be pleading over something that is His already I wondered? Something must be off even though I don’t see it. I stepped into the secret place and began to seek His face and right there, God revealed a withered root that my springing “adulthood” couldn’t hide – I had lost touch with the child that I once was; the child that would take the Father’s hands and go wherever He leads.

Growth has delivered this adult that follows with terms and conditions that “saved” a part from Him, “Lord, do whatever You want however You please with all these but this.” “I will follow You everywhere, but there.” What we don’t realize when we fall into such traps is that the very part we withhold from God is handed over to fear who wields it without mercy. It is not until we surrender the part that we are clinging to that love drowns terrorizing fear and we are set free.

In His presence, as I inhaled this song by Bethany Music, “I’m no longer a slave to fear,” Abba’s love transformed my “old” heart into that of His child once again and sealed a victory He gained as I claimed and stand on it. That wrinkled and withered part was transformed, renewed and I am confident of this very thing: whatever God does endures. What joy to be a child again, wholly and truly Abba’s child!

Thank God for the privileges of being sons and adults but nothing beats the simple pleasures of being a child, His child! Do you still experience the joy of being Abba’s child? In every area not some parts? It doesn’t matter how hard life has struck, it doesn’t matter how long you have been “adulting” through life. If God can reach me, He can touch any and every prodigal who longs to return with the heart of a child. My prayer for you today is that in whatever area the enemy has built a stronghold, that the power and presence of God will pull them down, set you free so that once again, you can enjoy being a child of Abba; a child that takes His hands by faith and follows all the way without doubt or fear, amen.

Blessings
Glory!