No, I didn’t ask for it! Couldn’t
Tried till I concluded I shouldn’t
I knew better: despite the lies
The truth in a corner hides;
I didn’t debate my unworthiness
I made no claims to holiness
Just as I am, I knew, I stood no chance.
Yet here I am; not that I deserved it
Even though I desperately desired it;
Lost in the thickets of my feebleness
Bound by ropes of my stubbornness
Unwilling to listen, resistant to change
God still came through to my cage
Unlimited by my limitations.
Not with expected verdict of damnation
Mercy peered through eyes of compassion
His purity didn’t look down on my filthiness
Peace held my gaze as mercy enacted righteousness
And for once, I needed neither shield nor mask:
Loving unworthy me, He made His noble task.
Now I know for sure: I’m accepted, just as I am.
How many of us do not think that we really need to work hard to impress God, earn His love, qualify for His mercy, retain His kindness, be considered for more grace, entitled to surpassing peace, and to fully enjoy His Presence? I suppose the majority of us do. And that is not abnormal. It is the life we are used to; we have to earn it or miss it. If we don’t qualify, it passes on to those who are. If we don’t work hard enough, those who do enjoy what we can’t. And sometimes we try so hard and still fall short as others qualify easier and faster than we can muster. Nevertheless, if we don’t give up, we steer ourselves to keep trying, harder than ever.
It is disappointing when our hard work doesn’t get us through the door. It is painful when we have to watch those who didn’t work as hard get where we couldn’t. But we sure feel accomplished when our efforts fetch our dreams and support our notions of God, His ways and His timings. We feel on top when our ideas are lining up with our reality. We are satisfied when our performance and rewards are commensurate. However, when we are unable to meet up, our confidence splinters and we wonder, “Will the just God mete out just punishment for our failings or will His heart of mercy beat the Judge that He is?”
Yes we should not sit in sin because grace abounds – that is abuse. Yet, we are not who and where we are because we did any better than others. Not even our good works could get us saved, how much more sustain His free gift of salvation and favor? Isn’t it reassuring to know they are not dependent on us; they are not because we are deserving; that we don’t have to hide until we get our acts together to draw near to the One who drew near to us despite our filthiness; that much as He calls us to holiness, we don’t have to be holy to impress Him; that He loves and will always love us just as we are; that every time we turn our back to unrighteousness, we do Him no favors but instead, save ourselves distressing consequences of our errors?
How humbling it is to come to the understanding that God knows us and loves us thus; that every command He gives is not for us to impress Him but so we can save ourselves untold troubles that line the path of disobedience; that no matter what, He love us just as we are because of who He is. By grace, we stand holy and blameless in His loving sight. Unlike family, friends, colleagues, and bosses whose acceptance is based on our performance and productivity, God’s acceptance of you and me is as unconditional as it is absolute. What a relief! What a call to life! May God’s surpassing love preserve you this week and beyond as you live your best, amen.
Glory!