I wanted to pass, just pass
Get over this and get past it
Move on to something else
Somewhere different, anywhere
Away from here and now
Then I got a pass: wasn’t that good
Now I wish I had a better score.

I wanted a job, any job
Anything to get me out
Anything to get me active
Anything to get me some income
Then I got a job I didn’t like much
Now I wish I had a better one.

I want to be ahead, the first
Nothing wrong with wishing, wanting best
Nothing wrong with reaching for all I can have
Then I learned: wishing, wanting is consuming
Except I marry it with grace and contentment
Always wishing and wanting leaves us grappling;
Ungrateful, unthankful, blindly striving
While what we have waste away, unappreciated.

I had dinner with my mentor the other night. I had taken a professional test and the result came out 97%. He asked, “What happened to the other 3%?” That had me laughing but not very long ago, I wouldn’t laugh at such a thing. Instead, I’d be seriously bent on a quest to find out where that 3 missing marks went.

Whenever I went in for an examination, my goal was 100% and I would go back to the professor if I lost any. Their response? Not always pleasant. One was so blunt, “You already had an A plus on that course and I am not going back to crosscheck it. It won’t change anything anyway and I won’t waste my time.” I learned some felt I was challenging their grading but I was only asking because I was curious, I wanted to know which I failed, how else could I learn?

Such responses sounded cruel at the time and bothered me but I have learned over time, that after I have done my best, to just take what I have and move on or we would be stuck in something that takes us nowhere. The professors in question probably had several other scripts and classes and here I was wanting them to go back for 3 marks that won’t change the grade. Life shouldn’t always be about us. People are carrying so much we don’t see but wishing and wanting leaves us blind and insensitive to the cares and needs of others.

It’s okay to want to be the head and not the tail. It’s okay to desire to be the first and not the last. And it is only fair that we have it if we worked for it. Nevertheless, we should not get stuck with our wishing and wanting lest we lose the beauty of appreciating what we have and where we are in a constantly changing world and time. We shouldn’t be consumed by unchecked desires that keep spiraling and leave us always wishing and wanting and reaching and hardly grateful, thankful and appreciative.

I am learning to accept that things could be better and to be thankful for what is. That has helped me to accept 100% and much less without getting flustered and losing focus; to be a good tail when I find myself at the bottom, to give my best when I’m stuck in the middle and to enjoy when I’m ahead knowing it doesn’t always have to be my way. Life has taught me that it’s okay to aim for the sky but it’s equally okay to appreciate whatever we have, wherever we are, until we get to that destination otherwise, when we get to the sky, we will be shooting for something higher without appreciation or pausing to celebrate that we made it to the sky. Life is not about goals, it is about making the most of every moment of our lives however they come to us so we can look back and not wish we had responded differently. As you aspire higher, may you be grateful and joyful for where you are today.

Blessings.
Glory!