As 2019 approached, I resolve to draw closer to God. I prepared my heart for a time of waiting on Him. I asked God for the extraordinary. I wanted the best of Him in the New Year and I pledged to let nothing get in the way. In fact, I asked God to take away anything that may stand in the way of reaching His heart and His very best this year. Guess His response?

From experience down the years, I know that drawing closer to God is not an easy task. However, I expected the first day would be a nice kickoff. There was nothing nice about our takeoff. It was raw and hard truth hitting from unexpected corner. God was not taking it easy with me. It’s like He has been waiting for this and I just walked myself into His “trap.” He was punching and it was landing hard on delicate spots.

Typically, when I’m deeply struck, I need to withdraw. I need time alone to take it in, digest it, maybe brood a bit, cry some as I choose to let go, then get myself together to get over it. But no, there was no escape route this time. There was no time to get away. I had to take the hitting and hurting along with everyday living. It was not fun but I realized the impact left my heart tender and the lessons were sinking deeper, absorbed faster and I was getting past where I would be stuck for days and weeks at quite the pace.

Second day, I shook off the first as a rough start and readied for stability but it was not yet to be. He came from nowhere, targeting something really dear. I went, “Wow! You’re pulling no punches Lord! Why…?” I needed to hide and cry, to grieve before I surrender what I wanted to hold tight. I tried running but I turned back to Him. I’ve been running for too long. I’ve been hiding for so long. I sat in the quietness of His hard-hitting revelation, broken, bowed and we talked. I did what needed to be done the best I could and He broke through me. I went to bed broken and hurting but still talking to Him. I woke up the next morning in healing streams that left such serene sweetness, such refreshing newness.

As I readied for work, pondering the past hours and coming ones, I said aloud to myself and to His hearing, “Intimacy with God is not for the faint at heart!” Hanging out in shallow waters hold little or no risks – nobody ever drowned on the flat shelves of life. On the other hand, the deep is risky, especially with the Almighty. The Maker, the Giver and Sustainer of life is not afraid to dunk us in the deep. If we perish, we perish – He gives life to the dead and calls those things that be not as though they were, and they become. If we dare to follow Him to the deep, God does not hold back in drowning us that we may die for in dying, we truly live.

(To be continued on February 15, 2019)

Glory!