I fear to look into Your eyes
I dread what that mirror reflects
The very thing I seek to hide
I know You know, You see all
To make You see this is awful
I’m ashamed to like what You hate
Yet I long to draw closer now
So I will lift up my fallen head
And into Your eyes I will look
To see what You see
So I can feel what You feel
So I can do what You seek
For though my desires ruin
Yet I seek what You seek
To drawer closer to Your heart
To love what You love
To be pleasing in Your sight
To be one with You
In truth and in deed.

Intimacy reaches deep into places we’d rather not touch and shifts things that compel us to go where we dread, to face what we hide, deal what we hate, to change what we won’t on our own. Intimacy is not lip service. It is not surface fix. And it is not cheap. It is an overhaul in the hands of the Creator of the Universe.

Intimacy calls farther than we would normally go. Compromises don’t suffice. Intimacy demands hefty sacrifices. It brings us to the place of vulnerability, the only place where we are prepared and positioned to receive the sustainable. I have experienced dimensions of intimacy with God and I’ve come to realize there is no end to it. It is a lifetime process. I wish I could say it gets easier but it doesn’t. It sure does leave us better, targeting the best in us, the best of us.

I would think by now I should know the ropes better but I am learning that the deeper the harder yet the richer the reward of His fullness in the persistent seeker. We live in times when people like it nice and smooth. The path of faith is not an easy walk with God. I’m not saying it is a horror story. I wouldn’t still be on it if that is the case. It is the only path for those who are hungry for the real, the true, the enduring – that’s why those who truly find it never leave. There is no other way, no better way. Every other falls so short. Despite the lows, the tough times and such high standard it demands, it is the only path that holds joy and peace and leads to fulfilment.

I don’t know if you know but truth hurts; it hurts deep and it hurts hard, that’s why many prefer to live a lie. But it is only after the painful cutting of truth that we experience the joy of healing, the peace of release. And no matter the cost, I’d still choose truth because I learned from Abba; that the cutting of truth is healthier than the soothing of lies; that gain derived from the pain of living awake surpasses the bliss of slumber; that being aware will always be more profitable, even if not fashionable, than being ignorant. So I’m hurting and choosing truth still and in choosing truth, I am healing and growing into the fullness of Him.

(To be continued on February 22, 2019)

Glory!