It was a miracle
But that was yesterday
Today, it wearies me
And I can’t wait for change
I don’t want to wait
I want it now, like yesterday.
Yesterday’s miracle didn’t change
I changed and I have the right to
I can and I want more.
Why? I deserve better!

The story we shared of Jane last week is not limited to her, it is an experience all of us can relate to one way or the other because at some points in our lives, we have grown weary and wary of something or someone we were once so excited about. Often, not because the person or thing changed. We changed on them. Our perspectives changed. Our styles and tastes metamorphosed. We outgrew them. Thus someone or something that was so fitting a while ago is no longer fitting. It may even appear embarrassing to us (even though others envy us) because of the higher pedestal we have mounted and won’t get off of.

The farther we drift in that tide of change, the less that miracle (be it a person or thing) means to us, the more we want what we want, and the more desperate our approach to getting what we want irrespective of how it impacts others. We are lost in the sea of self, blind to reason and compassion for others, recklessly driven by goals that starts and ends with us until we hit formidable rock and crash.

Thus Jane lost the job she didn’t appreciate. She lost the income that wasn’t enough. She lost contacts built in the course of her work and whatever possibilities that could have opened up from there. She lost meaningful relationships. She had a job and was such a gripe, can you imagine what she’d be without one?

Whose fault was it again? The employer who did the firing? For not paying her more for doing the same thing they had agreed upon? It was Jane’s problem; created and sustained by her to her own undoing. That journey never ends well. Jane’s story came fully back to mind as Jussie’s story unravelled.

In the wake of the revelations by Police that his attack was staged and one of the motives was money, it took my mind back to the paths I have traveled, the things I have learned in my own life and in the lives of people like Jane. As my father would say, “History is repeated by those who refuse to learn from the errors of others. While the court digs deeper to determine what exactly happened, what we’ve heard so far was so much food for thought I couldn’t help ruminating over it for days.

To be continued (March 22, 2019)

Glory!