When I hold onto a debt
I am tied to my debtor
And the tune he plays
Dictates my mood.
If I choose to write off
The debt, there is release
Not of the debtor
Who may never pay.
More than the debtor
I am the one unshackled
More than the debtor
I am the one released.
Wisdom made it easier:
“Never lend out more than
You can afford to release.”

Food For Thought: A lot of us are driven by the desire to please and at such speed that we fear to step on the break and say, “No!” even when our instincts are screeching and screaming. “It’s OK,” issues forth before we have processed the request. “Yes!” comes faster than engaging in thoughts that could lead to disappointing responses. We give what we can afford and what we can’t for genuine reasons and for the absurd which doesn’t appear so until much later. We yearn for approval and acceptance, and to truly help and make others happy, even at the expense of ours. We give and give ourselves away even when we are not confident that the gift will be appreciated and properly utilized. Then our fears get confirmed and we withdraw in disappointment. We grieve the abuse of something we valued, the loss of something we needed but gave away anyway. Anger builds, churning into bitterness, making it harder to forgive and release. Eventually, we lose what we longed to earn and bind ourselves to the offender in chains of unforgiveness. The offender may not even realize the depth of our pains, the extent of our loss. In fact, it may mean nothing or much to them as they move on while we are the very ones bound by an offense that could have been averted if we knew better. Whenever I see cases like this, my prescription is as the Holy Spirit taught me years ago: never give more than you can afford or else you will be stuck on that spot where you were blindly robbed while the robber  moves on. When you deal what you can afford, it is easier to forgive as you learn your lessons. Release is cheaper when the loss is affordable, allowing you to move on.

Scripture: Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18: 15.

Prayer: Dear Lord, may I forgive, long before I am asked, and release, without grudges, amen.