When realities of life rudely awakens
To see my nice notions, so far from facts
How staggering, numbing, when sincere assumptions
Have no relationship with truth as rising sun reveals
That all night, I have toiled, fishing in pool of lies
That leave my net sagging with disillusioned emptiness
Working so sincerely hard, sweating to catch up
With lies that are bound to fade as dawn descends.

Imagine you were Peter in John 21, rescued from fishing and called to be a leader of the followers of Christ. He wasn’t thrust into a position he wasn’t aware or prepared for. For 3 years, he spent every day with Jesus. He wasn’t just one of the thousands, hundreds or 12. He was in the innermost circle of Jesus’ connection. He was as close to Jesus as it gets.

Then something very ‘unfortunate’ happened. One of the 12 did something he shouldn’t have done, things went out of control and the Savior was murdered in broad daylight. The one who saved so many, who was expected to save us all, couldn’t save Himself. Instead, the ‘anticipated Messiah’ surrendered like a lamb to the unjust and suffered things so unimaginable His followers went into hiding for fear of their own lives.

How do you keep believing in God who couldn’t deliver Himself to deliver you? How do you keep the faith when dreadful reality mocks all He did and said, claiming they are as silent, as dead, as buried and as rotting as He is in the moment? It is as hard for anyone today as it was for the disciples those days. After His death, things went out of shape and focus was lost. Suddenly, the fishy profession assumed a new importance that lured not only Peter but also other disciples back to the way they had been weaned from while the going was good and the Shepherd was at hand. The pursuit of daily bread overcame the hope in a dead Redeemer who once performed unbelievable miracles and now lies in a grave our faith can’t resurrect.

Today is always more real than yesterday and tomorrow. Current pressures are usually more overwhelming than memories from past and hopes of future. Any wonder we get swept off by our struggles and forget where we have been with Jesus and all He’s done for us? If you haven’t experienced anything similar, wear Peter’s shoes and imagine how it would have felt like, the pressure to continue or forsake belief in a Christ who is not ‘present,’ who is no more, in a world determined to wipe history of His memories and miracles, a family with growing needs, and personal doubts and fears you can barely contend alone.
(To be continued)

Glory!