It’s such a cheery day but I am so sad.
Sad not because I have lost anyone or anything,
Sad not because something wrong befell me;
Sad not because I am ailing though I am wanting;
I am sad because every time I measure where I am
Against where I think I should be, I fall short.
I am sad because despite my countless efforts,
Both the authentic and the frantic, to catch up,
I still come short. I am sad because I am not who
I think I should be, I am not where I think I deserve;
I am not how I want to be at this stage of my life.
When I look back, I have every cause to be happy
But each time I look around, I end up so sad
Because I feel like I am so far behind.
I have met very beautiful people who see nothing good looking about themselves. From a distance they look like they have it all until you get close and are shocked by their self-damning opinions. I have encountered flagrant greed of the rich who crave more than they truly would ever need. I have seen people who are admired by others but think nothing worthy of themselves. These are people whom society designate in places of happiness yet they are leading very sad lives. Why?
The reason is not farfetched I discovered. Take you and me for example. Assume my desire was to buy a brand new Volkswagen. Something great happens, my dream is realized but before long, I am restless and wanting again, this time, for the latest Mercedes Benz, maybe because that’s the coolest ride in town, my neighbor whom I think doesn’t even work half as hard as I do has it, so why not me? We live in a world with shifting values, our dreams and egos shift along, leaving us in constant state of wantonness and ingratitude. The point is made more poignant by the name given to very cheap generators in Nigeria, “I big pass my neighbors.”
Nigeria is a country where power supply is scarce. The majority depends on power generators and for every class, there is a fitting design. The rich can afford the sound-proof gadgets that power enormous facilities. The generators come in varying sizes for the not so rich, down to the ones that simply power light bulbs and fans. It is among these lowly designs that the answer is hidden. The root of our endless wars with life is encapsulated in the name that sounds sarcastic and yet compelling; I big pass my neighbor.
Competition is the father of all dissatisfaction. While not overriding the importance and benefits of healthy rivalry, the quest to catch up, to be like, and to surpass others is the mother of ingratitude. It prevents you from appreciating who and where you are. It arrests your attention from focusing on what truly matters, propels the chasing of shadows, and forbids taking the break you need to be thankful for little mercies. Competition marries ingratitude to birth insatiable greed in humanity to the point that people will go any length to do whatever they think they have to, in order to get whatever it is that has captivated and captured them. Striving endlessly for more, and for control, they are inured to the truth that they have become slaves to their cravings. The end of these pursuits is destruction. That is the destination that lust drives its subjects.
What is the cure to this malignant malady? According to the Good Book: Godliness with contentment is great gain. It takes maturity to look upon those beneath, those around, and those above without despising one or the other. It takes grace to celebrate with the haves and forbear with the have-nots without condemning yourself to that prison of endless pursuit for more. It takes a heart of gratitude to wake up each day thankful in a world many are dying daily, that you can get out and return whole when many can’t go and those who do don’t make it back.
Yes, it hasn’t been easier and doesn’t appear that it will be anytime soon. Yes, we’ve worked so hard and our reality stoops so far from our expectations. Yes, we all want more and we don’t know when we will have them. Yes, we truly deserve so much more than we are served right now. Yet, let us not forget that the lives we have today was once a dream and remains the dream of many out there. A dash of gratitude each day may not work the miracle we desire but it will sure make life a little better for us and for those around us. Be grateful.
Glory!