A beacon of light, sparkling in darkness
A palm tree flourishing in the desert
In a world where many live hopelessness
In fullness of hope she thrived, selfless
Her branches spread through nations
Shelters and succor, cheering the needy
What others spend tons of years chasing
Cost her a little over a decade to finish
And in fullness of hope she slept, but not
Before she sent out her stirring voice
Calling from the desert, steering a generation
Like the voice of Paul, ringing without end;
Voice of eloquent peace, hushing screaming
Violence, buttering sliced souls with reassurance
Voice of courage in distress, reaching arms
Of tenderness, unfazed by threats of meanness
By those whose power are limited to flesh
And blood. Voice of hope and goodness,
Voice of compassion and righteousness
Voice of humanity, voice of selflessness
The voice of Kayla in the wilderness
Calling to one and calling to all: saying
Awake O sleeper, prepare your heart
For truly evil lurks; look up, stand out
And in fearlessness, spread goodness.
(Dedicated to Kayla Jean Mueller, August 14, 1988 – February 6, 2015)
I read the heart wrenching, reassuring, yet sobering message of Kayla Jean Mueller and wanted like nothing else, to share the story of this young woman of outstanding courage. I cannot claim authority in sharing the story of a sister I barely knew. Gleaning through the passion she penned in what was possibly her last letter, allow me to dissect, the heart of that voice that called, a voice that forever will ring through the wilderness of this generation and those to come – the voice of Miss Kayla – the woman who lived for purpose. And though she is late, her golden heart shines through, and that voice calls still, to one and to all, that at the end of the day, God is all you’ve got!
I read no article that claimed she had any special talent or some extraordinary gifts. She was like every other girl out there, but . . . , she had a heart; a heart that cared, a heart that was not afraid to go where others turn from, a heart that listened and heard and pondered and took action. She had a heart that could not turn the snooze on the suffering of humanity like a majority do every day. Her kind of heart compelled her to leave the security and love of home to become a dearer target than those she sought to aid. That was why it was easier for the enemy to let the rest go and hold onto her until death – she had an extraordinary heart that brings a heartless world like ours to its knees and the enemy knew that.
She was supposed to be a normal girl but there was nothing regular about her. Otherwise, she would not have left the comfort of Prescott, Arizona. One of her quotes reads, “For as long as I live, I will not let this suffering be normal.” Makes you wonder, “Who is Miss Mueller? What power does she have to change a thing? What resources are at her disposal?” Not much we can see but she gave ALL she had without reservations, for as long as she lived. And in signing off her letter, like Paul, she unknowingly acknowledged that all has been given, done, completed – did anybody notice that?
The compassion in her could not look the other way while people died. The passion in her wouldn’t let her chill in the peace of home and love of family while many roamed homeless. It wasn’t her problem but she took it upon her young shoulders. She had no hand in the tragic displacements but she willingly volunteered to succor the anguished. The fighter in her didn’t look away from suffering and hardship. The fighter that she is didn’t give up even until the end. What a woman!
A woman who is without fear should be feared. From 2009 until she breathed her last, Kayla went to places normal people dread, did things not everybody would, and someone calls her normal? She was not willing to hide from trouble and mind her business. Instead, she made the afflictions of the displaced and their troubles, her personal and professional affair. She did not go where she could live to boast of her exploits. She went to where she knew death could be the ultimate price. Her letter said she was fully aware of the risks.
She wasn’t asking anything of anybody. Instead, she was giving, even after she got into trouble for all her giving. She didn’t deal blame on a world that stands by and watches as the innocent die, on her country that couldn’t come to her rescue. In dire need, at critical risk, yet she was not anxious. Instead, she was offering hope and solace to her readers. She accepted responsibility for her predicament and would not regret her decision – that is the hallmark of self-sacrifice! She would not ask anything of her family after accepting responsibility for exposing them to heartaches, not even forgiveness. But truth is, she did not need forgiveness. This girl had only one point to prove: that no matter the evil in the world at large, there is still some good somewhere – that is the message she took, all the way to those she helped. Same message she sent from captivity, supposedly to her family, but like Paul’s letters, read and lauded by every righteous soul round the globe.
Captured by people who care for nobody else but themselves and their die hard ambitions, her concern toward others, which had placed her in line of danger, continued to overflow toward her grieving family and friends back home. You know what people are made of when they are inconvenienced. But gold, when tried in fire, emerges purer, shinning brighter. Imprisoned, she discovered true liberty. In darkness, she found light. And in the midst of all the evil she was forced to unjustly witness and endure, she saw goodness. How do you do that? This is not normal!
That letter was a picture of the embodiment of selflessness and extravagant affection toward agonizing humanity. Not the desperate cry of a woman who wanted rescue by all means – she had to think through what she wrote because her caring heart would not let her complicate her family’s already delicate emotions. She knew they were suffering on her behalf and sought to bring comfort out of her distress. She determined to send them relief, not add to their sufferings.
It was obvious that throughout that letter, she wasn’t thinking about “Me” and all the injustice and unfairness of, “My circumstances after all, I was only trying to help.” She esteemed the sufferings of her family above hers. Same way she placed the need of those she travelled so far to attend above hers. Can you beat that? Yet, that is true. The attendant often agonizes more than the sick but how many in such circumstances consider that? Yet she did. She briefly mentioned her status to reassure their hearts that she was well but her primary focus was to communicate her understanding of their pains and her readiness to reach out to them with care and comfort and assurance of hope.
Unlike my grumbling sisters and me, she attributed putting on weight to being healthy: how about that! And in spite of the uncertainties of her circumstances, the conveyance of her hope was in no vague terms – it was solid, it was firm, and it was real, not a product of hallucination by someone evading reality. She was fully aware of her dilemma and understood that only God could save. Not a United Nations that was handicapped by lawlessness, not America for whom the enemy cared very little, not her parents, family, and friends – in such a time as she found herself, Kayla discovered and stood on the truth that God is the only one who will always be there where no other can ever reach. Only God.
Only God can! That is the message of the voice calling in the 21st century Wilderness. A wilderness that cares not about God and His ways. A wilderness that cares not for human lives and rights. A wilderness that tramples on goodness and goodwill. In a wilderness where evil thrives, came a voice of truth and righteousness, declaring the way of the Lord. The voice we heard in that letter was not the voice of anger and bitterness, not the voice of regret and fear, all of which she is entitled to anyway. But she chose the road less traveled and that has made all the difference in a world brimming with people driven by a sense of self-entitlement. Instead, Kayla’s was the voice of contentment. It said I am well though things are unwell and I need you to be well no matter what befalls me.
It was not the voice of denial. She acknowledged the uncertainties of her “freefall” as well as the certainty of interminable tenderness cradling her to the heart of an eternally loving Father. She recognized the darkness around her and was thankful for the privilege of being enabled to see light in such a dungeon. In her position of gratitude, she saw through all the unscrupulousness around her, the goodness that could not be shrouded by evil. And by that river of Babylon, she wrote and sang a new song.
Did somebody hear that voice from the wilderness saying, “There is good in every situation!” But we can’t see it. We don’t see it. Kayla said it’s because you haven’t looked. You need to look for good. You have to look for it to see it. If you don’t, you are bound to miss it. And O what a loss! Lord, may I never miss the good in all of my life’s circumstances, amen. If you ever forget that God’s Word says count it all joy when you fall into diverse temptations, if you ever forget that God’s Word says to give thanks in every situation, please don’t ever forget, Miss Kayla broke it down; there is good in EVERY situation.
O how we jump to conclusion about the bothers of life! In our rush, we miss out all the goodness in the unpleasantness we have to deal with. Kayla didn’t jump. She rested on the foundation her loving parents laid long before it was dark, and therein, found hope to encourage them. The captive prayed for the free. What a reminder of Apostle Paul! What a reminder of Christlikeness in a world that cheats and lies and fights and kills for self-satisfaction! Oh and she will encourage no lies. She directed her parents not to negotiate her release if it were possible. What?
Kayla was not in a hurry to get out. Her voice was not the voice of one in bondage who is in haste to escape. No! She said, go the right way even if it takes longer – I will wait it out. This is the voice of righteousness, bent maybe, but not broken by evil. Righteousness standing upright; inspiring, commending, commanding – whatever you do, do it right! Don’t rush into a mess to save me. Why would she say that? Because she had come to understand that only God can save! That righteousness is a defense. That right must not be sacrificed for wrong. “Don’t cut corners for me,” she said, “And don’t get burdened because of me.”
What credit to parents who laid such an unshakable foundation in a world where many have dropped the ball and abandoned the responsibility of laying the right foundation in the wrong hands. And what a lesson to parents. When you raise a child to live right, responsibly, and independent, they will come right back at you assuming their responsibility, commanding their independence, and demanding that you do right. What an honor to Kayla’s parents – I can’t imagine what rewards await them on the day we come face to face with Christ, for raising such a formidable warrior. God bless you Marsha and Carl Mueller for blessing the world with your ministry as parents.
And Kayla did not forget in her desperate moments, the value of family. She sought ways to make their already hard life easier because she recognized that they are gifts. The very thing that took her to captivity: seeking to make life more livable for others. Did you hear her say that everyone is a gift, including those who stress you out? Out of her deep longing for her family arose not fury or regrets but a much deeper appreciation for all they have been, and all they have been through. What a lesson, especially for those who often take their families for granted. I hope this wakes you to value those around you irrespective of what you think of them. Everyone we meet is a gift. Our families and friends are gifts that enrich our lives. Appreciate them when you have them because they will not always be there.
Kayla said, “Be patient . . .” can you imagine that? Yet it is true. Be patient. The virtue of grace shines through patience. The beauty of grace radiates in the face of patient faith – faith that is not in a hurry to be saved. Patience that accepts God’s timing as right timing. It puts us and our hasty pursuits of wealth, fame, happiness, and instant gratification to shame.
Then she said something that brought a huge smile to my face, “. . . I have a lot of fight left”! This is definitely not the cry of a wimp. It is the roar of trooper. She wasn’t wailing and cursing and giving up. Though bound, she was still alive; knocked down but still standing. Bowed down but still fighting. This girl is a fighter. A fighter is always a fighter no matter what; uncageable, unstoppable. Tie her up in prison or wherever but she won’t throw in the towel. So long as breath remains, the fight continues, in ways visible and invisible, by means known and unknown. What courage, what a woman! And she was how old? T-w-e-n-t-y-s-i-x.
Another thing worthy of note is that words about her rescue came toward the end of her letter. That means, it was not her priority. Her letter eloquently said, you my family, and your wellbeing, are more important to me than my rescue. She was counseling them from prison, offering hope from the pit of hopelessness. She was not giving up to the enemies. No, she was hopeful and that faith fired her on. She extended to her troubled family, outstanding hope, shining hope, conquering hope. Her courage redefined hope.
After the voice of courage and hope had done exhorting her family, she turned around, the baby girl they loved and said: I know what you expect of me and I am not letting you down. I know you raised me up to be strong and that is exactly what I am doing here. Don’t be afraid for my sake, I am in good hands. I am in God’s hands. And she didn’t lay the burden of prayer on them and on the world at large. No, she said, you go ahead with your prayers and I also, will continue to pray. Doesn’t that sound like Queen Esther? What a comforter, what a counsellor!
Her hope waivered not: not in the beginning and not at the end of the letter. Full of hope, she assured them of God’s will first, not her will or her family’s. God willing, we shall see again. And God is willing. Not only her family, but everyone who believes in this hope that makes not ashamed, will surely see Kayla again. And we will all be together with the Lord, in a place where no suffering or parting exists. In the face of hopelessness, she lived full of hope and died in fullness of hope. And though dead, yet she speaks.
Her voice, like that of Abel, speaks on. Yet, unlike the voice of Abel, equally murdered unjustly, Kayla’s voice is not crying for vengeance. Hers is the voice of grace amazing and peace endearing. By this article, I celebrate God who blesses my generation with ordinary people like Kayla, who do extraordinary things in every day places. I celebrate a life well spent. I celebrate the voice of an indisputable hero who understood her purpose and was spent living it to the end, the voice of a prophet that cannot be silenced, the voice of a saint gone home to rest after a hard day’s job. And that voice will keep speaking to the glory of God and to the shame of evil that has never been and never will be able to silence voices of goodness like Kayla’s.
In conclusion, allow me to cap Kayla’s goodbye message thus;
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing. 2 Timothy 4: 7-8.
Champions never die. They go home to resounding applause. And not only will the crowds and clouds in heaven, in wonder embrace this homecoming queen, let the earth and all in it stand up for this Ambassador of the Kingdom that rules over all; defender of the faith of our Father; bearer of the flag of righteousness! Let heavens rejoice and earth, in comfort be still. Welcome into the joy of your Father Kayla Jean Mueller!
Glory!
I feel both humbled and honored, to be the one appointed and anointed by Abba, to write this tribute to Miss Kayla. Thank You Lord!