Many men I passed, none moved my heart like him
Everyone has a label for him, to me, he’s truly special:
Life’s once in a lifetime gift. Totally sold, secret admirer
Yet in every sense a woman, I adored from a distance.
People followed him for countless reasons but for me
There’s only one: love drew me to him; love unfathomable
Love unexplainable. Love from depths irresistible! Love
Drew strings of my heart to his. Beyond me, yet he lived
Large in my heart and dreams, lord of my life and dreams
And I beat my fears to make it known. Will he appreciate?
Will the world understand? Maybe. Maybe not. One thing
I know: I have loved, I have learned – that’s enough
Even if I never loved another, even if I never loved again
I gave birth, I gave wings to a love I couldn’t help.
It’s s like every other day, family and friends spending time together. Nothing really special, no big deal, as far as everyone else was concerned. But one woman there had not only her eyes on one man, all her heart hovered around him, beating at every word he spoke. It’s hard to classify her a stalker because I don’t know for how long she followed him but her attraction to this guy was not flimsy. Not fleeting either because the secret attraction has grown into intense affection, and blooming still, threatening exposure which can turn into scandal. No, this girl is no fame-hunter, no scandal-scavenger.
Truth is that she had met many men but none had touched her heart and soul like this guy whose heart glows brighter than the halo around his head. Traditionally, she is forbidden to go close so from a distance, she followed him. From a distance, she loved, which was safe enough. Then one day she heard a neighbor will be hosting him. This, like her ‘unplanned’ falling in love with him, is another once in a lifetime opportunity and after much brain racking, soul searching and earnest praying, she decided to follow her heart. Like true love compels, she prepped different from everyone else.
D-Day came and she was as close as decently allowed, hearing her heart, gauging the crowd against her fear, pondering his possible reaction to her boldness, and knowing this is the only chance she’d ever get. Away, she look from the crowd, her eyes on His face. When he turned her way, their eyes connected and every restraint broke! She stood and silence swallowed the gaping crowd. She walked toward him and could hear a pin drop but was too consumed to care. She came too close for comfort and the host gasped, looking to him to blow her away but relaxed, his eyes fed her courage and strength she needed to shun the world and live her dream.
She reached into her robe and jaws of a silent crowd hit the floor. “What’s this crazy girl about to do? Somebody stop this nonsense,” was screaming through every bulging eyes! She knelt at his feet, shielding the intimacy of that sacred moment with her body, her hair, her hands. She touched him like nobody, male or female alive, not even his closest family and friends, ever has, ever will. Despite an alarmed and gawking crowd, it was just the two of them in that moment, in that place: just the lady and the man she has chosen to crown her forever lover. No, she didn’t bring a crown of gold, hers comprised all she was and all she had and at his feet, shamelessly, she laid it all.
The aroma hit the room: the secret was out and many in the crowd were enraged for a thousand and one reasons. They judged her for being too forward. For trampling on tradition. For going after a man instead of letting him make the first move. For touching a man in public. For giving when they all came to collect. For spending on a man when it’s supposed to be the other way around. They judged her for loving and for daring to show it. They judged her for following her heart, for giving expression to her sincere feelings, for daring to live what should be limited to dreams alone. Above all else, they judged her for wasting such expensive treasure on a man! “It could have been used to change our city, you reckless waster!”
But away from all that crowd and their huffing and puffing she walked in tears of irrepressible joy; satisfied, fulfilled. Even if she never loved again, she has loved truly, wholly, openly and it didn’t die a secret only her heart could attest to. No, if anyone ever remembered her, it will be for her public profession not her secret affection; for releasing not for falling in love, for her choice to give something that begged to be kept a secret. She has loved fearlessly despite her fears. That day, she broke her own record. That day, she fought her worst battle and defeated her greatest fear of judgment, condemnation and rejection. That day, she moved out of his obscurity, rose above a crowd that didn’t care, and became known to a world that didn’t know her name. Today the world knows her still though her name remains unknown. Now the world can tell about the woman who loved recklessly for it wasn’t a cheap love. The crowd never understood what happened that day but she did. He did. And that’s enough even if she never loved another, even if she never loved again. (Matthew 26:6-13, Mark 14:3-9, Luke 7:36-50.)
Glory!