I am a slave, for real, by choice!
Did my time, could’ve walked away
Master of my own but I chose to stay
Even when staying cost my freedom
Even when staying had me branded
I chose the Master who loved me
More than I can or will ever love me
I chose to live loving Him forever
I chose death to living apart from Him
Gawk if you like, talk all you want: who cares
I’m a happy branded slave of Christ for life!
As a child, encouraged by my dad, I made a vow to God. When I was born again, I tied my life to God with that oath. I lived that vow joyfully for many years. A time came when my eyes began to open to some things I’ve been shielded from. My seeing began to influence my desire and my transforming desire began to rankle on the solemn vow. I wanted out! I felt I was too young and didn’t understand the full implications of what I was committing to, I didn’t mean to tie my life to it, and times haven’t been fair in regard to aiding my honoring it. I pestered my Father, “Can I change my mind now please, without You invoking the consequences that I, with my own mouth, had tied around my neck via that vow?” Silence met my request. Then one day out of the blues, while Abba and I were chilling on something else, He says, “You can lay that vow down now and walk away from it and I won’t hold it against you. I’ll still love you and I’ll still be here for you.”
Alarmed, I stilled. Is this a trap, “You want meat? Here, eat until it comes out of your mouth and nose and ears?😳” How did we get here? We weren’t even discussing the vow when He raised this. I wasn’t expecting because He had said nothing all the times I asked. Suspicious, I probed, “No consequences if I walked away now?” “You’ll be free like it was never made if you walk now and I’ll still love you no less.” He affirmed. “Why are You letting me walk away from it when you know I’ll be walking straight into something You don’t approve?” I queried, baffled. “Because I love you. Because I want you to live free. I want you to love me of your own free will. I want you to choose My way by choice not by force. I want you to walk it with Me, joyful because it’s your choice not with a sour heart because you want to get away and you feel too tied to go and live your way. I wasn’t forced to choose you and it gives Me pleasure to be here for you because I chose you. I want the same from you. Is that too much to ask?”
Wow! I broke down as the sincerity of a Father, who loves too much to take away His gift of free will even when allowing it is going to break His heart and mine, dawned like dew upon my sobering soul. In that moment, all I have been spared because of that vow flashed before my eyes. The course of my life would have been different if not for it. I willingly took it then because I loved Him so much! The vow was a safeguard tying me to live loving Him or death. And here I was, ready to give it up because I want to eat an apple whose taste wanes in a moment, whose consequences linger for life.
My hunger for the forbidden apple had overshadowed my utmost affection for the One who gave up His own life for my freedom, my peace and joyful life. Goodness, what’s in an apple for me to turn it into a competition with my devotion to the LORD? How did an apple become such a critical necessity that I want it so bad even when the cost is the most important Person and relationship in my life? Who switched the values? Who tampered with my ancient-once-so-rugged conviction? Who magnified an apple above the Almighty? Who else but the enemy whose goal has always been to separate us from our ever-loving and gentle Father? Who else but the liar, will tell us, “God lied! You’ll not ‘really’ die if you eat it.” Who else but who it’s always been, the missionary who steals and kills and destroys?
In tears of repentance, I turned to my Abba and rededicated my life to Him on that very vow I wanted to cast aside. That day, I became the slave who was offered freedom but loved the Master too much I chose to live with Him or die to be with Him. That day I chose to be a branded slave of my Father forever instead of my own master. It wasn’t a hard choice to make because I have known my ABBA’s freeing love for me. This God is too good for me to turn my back on, too kind for me to break His heart, and too gracious for me to choose a scoundrel over Him. No, it was a clear and wholehearted choice I made that day, choosing Jesus and His ways for life, of my own free will. If you see me today, my ears are not gored, it’s not inked on my skin but deep inside beats a heart that is branded: joyfully Christ’s forever, hallelujah!
Glory!